Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Hope Lives Here

   Hope is important. Everyone needs it. Everyone has had it. Everyone has lost it. Everyone has found it. Everyone yearns for it. Hope. The definition of Hope is: 'to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true" - Merriam-Webster Dictionary. In other words Hope is Belief. You are hoping that something you desire for you life or in your life will happen, and you believe it will happen. There is a difference between a dream and a hope. A dream is something you hope could happen in the future. Dreams come true, but you need hope to get you there .  If you aren't a believer and you have hope... well friend, you are believing in something. And let me tell you what that something is. That something is a big thing: It is God. Go marinate on that for a second.

Yesterday I personally was filled with Hope. In so many different ways, on so many different levels. Brother and I spent the day at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia's Trisomy 21 Program's Clinic- Is that a mouth full or what?! It was a four hour appointment, where doctors, specialists, and therapists completely focused on Knox. They educated me on new techniques, they referred me to a new specialist, and they gave me unbiassed opinions and feedback on his therapies. This amazing team let me drive them crazy with questions, stories, and just me. We talked about poop, cheered on brother as he pointed at pictures, gave him a helpful and therapeutic massage (which I can share if anyone is interested), and they asked how I was doing. The level of care I have received at CHOP has been remarkable. I am so impressed with every doctor and nurse we have ever worked with there.  A few days ago I was online and I saw their logo for the first time. Every time I leave CHOP I feel like I am doing everything I can to help my son have the best life possible. I am full of Hope. Hope Lives Here. 

While Brother was away, Sissy Lu got to play. Okay most of you reading this know me, well I am assuming you do. But if you don't,  here are a few things about me... I am guarded, don't ever like to ask for help,  don't like to accept help, I am very slow to make close friendships, and like a lot of first time moms I have separation anxiety. The night before our appointment a sweet friend texted me and offered to watch Sissy Lu for the day. This mom of five who home schools and works in Children's Ministry at our church was going to do me a favor... at first I thought no way! If anyone needs a break it would be her!! The Pilot urged me and I knew in my heart that Sis would have so much more fun spending the day with this awesome family of seven. And guess what?! Sissy Lu had a a blast! I am so grateful they watched her for me, not only because of her enjoyment, but I finally let myself be vulnerable. I already feel so much closer to them. I go in these stages where I give up on trying to grow roots where I am. I don't always let friendships grow deeper because I know that we will move, and in the end I lose hope. Well yesterday showed me hope is mine to have. Hope Lives Here.

I ended yesterday at our church bible study. I cannot put into words how much Lifehouse Church has meant to me. They took care of us when we had the Twin Pack and were living the NICU life, they helped and encouraged me when the Pilot was deployed for eight months, they always help me to and from my car, they include me, they make me feel at home, they make me feel loved, and they are so of the best people I know. I have made some of my closest friends at church, which is a new experience for me. God is at work at Lifehouse, and I am honored to be a part of that. The pastor's wife is a wonderful speaker and she was speaking to the women about the Lord's Prayer (Matthew6:9-13). She was explaining each line and what really spoke to me was how big of a gift the Lord's Prayer truly is. Jesus himself is giving us his "prayer journal". It made me feel closer to him. The thing that gave me the most hope is when she said "God is for You". That seems crazy right? I mean I was created for Him, so how can He be for me? I get it. That is how much He loves us. He love us so much, He is all about us! He wants our hope to be placed in Him and He wants our dreams and desires to be fulfilled so that it will draw us closer. If you are searching for HOPE, I will tell you where to find it, it is in His word. I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my Hope. Psalm 130:5 Hope Lives Here.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

My Pilot

Happy Birthday to My Pilot!

I wanted to "publicly" wish the man I love a Happy Birthday. WARNING: If you have a sensitive Gag Reflex look away!!

Thank you for being the man that you are and for love that you give. I appreciate everything you do for our family! Being your wife is an honor. You are so loyal, trustworthy, and honest. You are not only my best friend, but you are my best. You truly bring out the good side of me, the strong side of me, and the adventurous side of me. I know I get annoying, scatterbrained, indecisive, chaotic, whiny, lazy, and short tempered, but you love me anyway. I love how hard you work and how you challenge your self to always be better. Growing in our Faith together has been amazing. You push me and sometimes have to pull me through life. Your intelligence is so attractive, as well as your hot bod. You are the planner, the boss, the motivator, the achiever, and the one person I can never get enough of... well maybe sometimes ;) Watching you with our kids is one of the greatest joys I have ever experienced. You are a remarkable father, and I know they will always treasure you. I do. No matter where you are or where you go you always have my heart. You are my forever boyfriend!

And because it is your birthday I had to let you know that you are my biggest blessing. Happy Birthday Bud! I Love you. We Love You! 

Friday, November 1, 2013

Fat and Sassy

Lucille Preston Cooper 

Today my sweet Grandma Lu went to be with the Lord. She lived for ninety-four years and she never stopped loving life. I hope to someday be as amazing and as loved as she was. I could write thousands of words about this woman, so a simple blog post will never achieve what five minutes in her presence would have.

I do want to share a few things about this woman who touched mine and so many lives. She did me one of the greatest things someone can do for you, she raised my mom. Grandma Lu was a Mother of Six and all of her Six Kids adore her to this day.  She was a fantastic story teller. She was one of those people who when they spoke, everyone listened. Not because she commanded your attention, but because she deserved your attention.

 I loved that she never made me feel less then. Grandma Lu lived during a time when life was not as easy as it is now- but she never pointed that out. She didn't have to. You knew that she struggled, you knew that times had been tough, and you knew that overcame everything. There was no bitterness, just JOY. She never pretended, and she was brutally honest. I don't know if that was just how she always was, or if in her old age she knowingly decided it was her right. The truth will set you free, well then Grandma Lu was definitely set Free. 

She would often compliment my bust, before the twins. Now that I am a Mom I understand why. Those Bust Compliment days are long gone. One of my favorite things was making her laugh. If you made Grandma Lu laugh, you felt really funny. Her laugh was the best, I can still hear it now. She was a nut! She collected Pigs and I mean she had PIGS everywhere. Wisdom gracefully flowed out of her , and every time we spoke I knew I was better because of her words.I love that she got to see me be a Wife and Mom, because she helped make me the Wife and Mom I am.

 She loved Jesus, but never had to quote a verse or express that. That woman was so full of Jesus' Love you never had to question her heart. She was smart, like knew every answer on Jeopardy smart.   If you asked her how she was, her reply was always "Fat and Sassy." I always rolled my eyes at the Fat part. Though today I decided she did have a "Fat" Heart. Her heart so full and large because she loved so much.

Grandma Lu was one of my favorite people in the whole world and of course I going to miss her so much. Her funny stories, her unsolicited advice, her daring compliments, her hugs, her wise words, her laugh, and just her way will always be missed. Tomato Soup, Malts, Peanut M&Ms, Fireball, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches- are now my Grandma Lu Comfort Foods. I might even start collecting Pigs. I am so grateful to have her for so long, and I am have so much peace knowing she is in Heaven.

Have I ever told you I Love You? Well I do! We all do!

Thursday, October 31, 2013

It's Been...

.a while.
.worth it. 
.better than I could have ever Imagined. 

It's been a while since I have blogged. Last November to be exact. I remember that day, and I remember savoring the last few weeks with my Pilot before he would deploy.  Once again we were about to experience the Unknown. The unknown is kind of an ongoing theme in our lives. We kissed goodbye on December 24, 2012. I  had to wait until August 7, 2013 for another kiss. It was the second best kiss of my life, topped only by our first kiss as husband and wife. I decided to not share or chat about his deployment on social media. One because it is kind of frowned upon, second it isn't really safe, and third I would have complained or lied. When I blog, I share. Shut down the sharing and I have to shut down the blogging, plus I didn't have any free time!

But today, on the very last day of October- Down Syndrome Awareness Month- my heart is compelled to write. I feel like I have a mission, and my mission is to show the world how special an extra chromosome is. Down Syndrome, medically referred to as Trisomy 21 has completely transformed my life. It can't truly be explained, only experienced. I am hoping that through my words and my pictures you can be part of this experience. Down Syndrome Awareness isn't just for a month in our house, it is for a lifetime.

My second mission is to show how awesome Twin Life is!!! It is the best time I have ever had. The Twin Pack makes me so happy. Everyday is a circus, everyday feels like a Holiday. Busy. Busy. Busy! Fun. Fun. Fun!!

I also feel called to show people what being an Air Force Spouse is all about. Obviously we are all different, but we all have one thing in common. Our Spouse serves our country! We married Patriots. I always try to remember that. I am so proud to be an Air Force Wife.

My family is my world. I love being a Twin Mom. I love being a DS (Down Syndrome) Mom. I love being an Air Force Wife. But most of all I love being a Child of God, and I hope to always please Him with my posts. Christ is the reason I write, he is the reason for everything!

Sometimes I get asked how I do it... and I don't always give the right answer. But here it is, Jesus. He carries me through and for that I am so grateful.

Happy Halloween to all of you! 

Monday, November 19, 2012

Mommy of the Year

I'm never going to be the Mommy of the Year.

I'm not going to be the smartest Mom. I'm not going the craftiest Mom. I am not going to be the most patient Mom. I'm not going to be the funniest Mom. I'm not going to be the most organized Mom. I am not going to be the most stylish Mom. I'm not going to be the most cultured Mom. I'm not going to be the most sophisticated Mom. I'm not going to be the prettiest Mom. I'm not going to be the most accomplished Mom. I am not going to be the coolest Mom. I am not going to be the most involved Mom. I am not going to be the nicest Mom.

I am going to make mistakes. I am going to get upset. I am going have short comings. I am going to bribe every now and then. I am going to learn some things the hard way. I am going to fail. I am going to look like a mess. I am going to make bad judgements. I am going to be confused. I am going to be insecure. I am going to contradict myself. I am going to yell. I am going to forget things. I am going to be indecisive.  I am going to get stressed out. I am going to be late. I am going to embarrass them. I am going to have no idea what to do.

I won't give up. I won't wish my time away. I won't compare myself, my husband, or my kids to others.   I won't take anything for granted. I won't belittle them. I won't make everything easy. I won't shelter them.  I won't back down. I won't gossip. I won't let them be quitters. I won't let them lie. I won't lie to them. I won't know everything. I won't be perfect. I won't make them think they need to be perfect. I won't undermine my husband. I won't scream. I won't smother them. I won't forget who I am.

I will laugh at myself. I will be the bad guy. I will have fun. I will apologize. I will be generous. I will smile. I will learn. I will promote good health. I will pray. I will believe in them. I will give hugs and kisses way to much. I will be honest. I will celebrate their unique talents. I will make my family a priority. I will make one day a month really special.  I will play.  I will protect and keep my children safe. I will love and adore my husband. I will demand respect. I will earn respect. I will be strong. I will listen. I will be creative. I will put the phone down. I will celebrate wins and applaud a loss. I will be trustworthy. I will take risks. I will teach what I know. I will study what I don't. I will relax. I will be supportive. I will always try to control my temper. I will dance. I will push. I will take way to many pictures. I will I will always use my imagination. I will grow. I will turn off the TV. I will not take myself too seriously.  I will instill a love of Mexican food in my children. I will keep my promises. I will try my hardest. I will be exciting. I will be a cowboy, a princess, a lion, or a ballerina. I will enjoy the small things.  I will encourage Daddy Time. I will tickle, cuddle, and snuggle. I will do what is best for my family. I will raise my babies to love Jesus. We will be happy!

I'm not going to be Mom of the Year. I am going to drive them crazy. I won't let a day go by that I'm not thankful. I will love them with everything that I am.

I am not going to be the Best Mom. But I am going to try.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

The T Word

Am I such a sweet Mommy that I am giving my daughter a toothache?

Nope... that is just wishful thinking. It has begun. It has even been confirmed by a medical professional, Sister is officially Teething. A friend lent me this adorable halloween onesie with the ever appropriate "Teething Bites" across the front of it. If you were wondering where I have been, just follow the smell of the cherry Orajel and berry Tylenol and you will find me holding a very unhappy baby. My sweet girl has a bit of a dramatic flair, something I adore about her. In drama Queen fashion, the screaming is honestly a bit intense. Our household has also been down a pair of hands, meaning I may or may not be using cherry flavored Tylenol on her pacifier to pacify her. Don't worry I don't over do it, and when I say Tylenol I mean the Little Fevers safe for babies medicine.

The worst part of teething isn't the less sleep, drool, or the crying. The worst part is that my little girl is hurting and I can't do a thing about it. I try to reason with her, she doesn't understand the whole No Pain. No Gain. thing. I mean having a mouthful of teeth is awesome. You get to eat delicious stuff, brush them, use them to bite people, wear expensive metal accessories on them, and someday flash a smile at a cute boy at school with them. Teeth are definitely worth it. I love having teeth and I know she will too.

Sister is tough. She will get through this and so will her Mommy. I just wish she didn't have to experience the pain. I guess this is a Motherhood Lesson for me. She is going to get hurt, she is going to feel pain, but good will come from it. Even if the screaming last for way over an hour, I need to appreciate these moments. Because I am holding a Baby! I'm holding Our Baby!

I also need to remember that it is okay to spend the day inside, not wearing a bra, without a stitch of make-up on, hair in a less then sexy fro and just love on these sweet babies. It is also okay to be five minutes late to a doctor appointment because pulling over and dipping your babies pacifier in some gripe water was a necessity. I feel so blessed to have these moments to complain about. Teething does totally bite, but before we know it the Tooth Fairy will be here. Until then Orajel Wishes and Tylenol Dreams.

My Toothless Tot

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Three Days

Enjoying My Morning View.
I am so excited to be sitting here eating my breakfast and sipping hot coffee and having both of my hands to do it. Sleep has alluded us more than normal lately. Teething? Growth Spurt? Reduced Milk Supply?I am not sure why my sweet babies are trying to pull all nighters, but I have decided that I am entitled to a day watching movies while just loving on the twins. Even if I have to miss something to do it- Bible Study, Blogging, and the obvious one Laundry!

I have decided to try and set a Goal of blogging three times a week. If I can do that consistently I will have some sort of schedule in my life, even if it is a blog schedule. I am working hard to try and get in a routine in my life and maybe blogging can help me. Have a great Tuesday!